Tripp Atkinson

Pastor, Speaker, Consultant

Ministry

The Greatest Graduate Gift: The Senior Experience

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The greatest graduate gift a parent and church can give students is a Senior experience that grounds them in their faith and produces an individualized plan to help them experience God’s best in college and beyond.

At Sugar Hill Church, the culmination of our comprehensive spiritual growth plan for students (called Grounded for Life) is the Senior Experience. The Senior Experience serves as a final preparation and launching pad for life beyond high school. Through a co-ed Senior Small group experience, students begin the first semester studying a student version of Financial Peace University (we get the most positive feedback from parents on this), then a study of Revelation (its themes and promises are so appropriate for students preparing for an unknown future).

In their final semester of small group, students are led to write a practical and actual plan for how to succeed beyond high school. We’ve learned that most students don’t plan to fail; most just don’t plan not to. That is why we lead them in writing a plan that is based on our nine Grounded for Life biblical principles.

The Plan

Each student is given a customized Senior Experience journal where students take notes as each biblical principle is taught and Scripture is discussed in smaller groups. They also write down ideas as current college students share their college experience and suggest practical steps to implement the principles in ways that will benefit their life beyond high school. Students develop personal action steps for each biblical principle identified in The Plan, and together as a group the students decide on the most practical and helpful action steps for each principle. At the end of the semester, we take their action steps and have them professionally printed into each class’ unique version of The Plan as a physical reminder to carry with them into their next stage of life. We encourage students to keep The Plan somewhere they will see it often and review the wisdom and ideas they took time to craft into their plan.

The Five

Before students graduate, we also encourage them to identify a circle of five people that can hold them accountable to their plan during their first year of college. A number of studies have shown that students who have accountable relationships with 3-5 adults while in college are significantly more successful at thriving spiritually than those who do not. We suggest their “5” include a parent (or two), a senior adult, a past or current mentor (such as small group leaders), as well as a peer that they admire spiritually. These 5 have the ability to greatly impact and encourage a student’s successful transition to college. We connect these “5” to the student and The Plan at a special celebration.

The Celebration

Another way we celebrate this period of transition is by making a big deal of High School graduation at Sugar Hill Church. We have a special Graduate Recognition Sunday where students are celebrated and encouraged by their church family. As a part of this special day, graduates invite their families, close friends, and their “5” to a banquet where they are further celebrated by our whole Sugar Hill Students team and the rising Senior class. At this banquet, graduates share The Plan booklets with their “5” and begin the process of receiving encouragement to thrive as they enter the post-high-school world. This event puts the exclamation point on our preparation of students to be Grounded For Life!

Tripp Atkinson Challenge Coin Sugar Hill Church

The Gift

At the banquet, students are presented with special Challenge coins that we have custom minted for each class. Challenge coins are a long-standing tradition in the military that serve as a symbol of identity, a source of pride, and a reminder of the support that one has behind them. We have these special challenge coins minted for our graduating class to serve as a constant reminder of their identity, values, and the army of support they have behind them in their church family. Some students put these where they can see them daily and some say they carry them in their pocket when they are having a tough day.

Through a special Senior Small Group, the writing of The Plan, the formation of their accountability circles, the celebration and commissioning service, the banquet, and a special gift, the Senior Experience serves as not only a celebration, but also a launching pad for high school graduates. By making such a big deal of this important milestone, we encourage families, further tie students to the church, and empower students to be Grounded for Life! We give students a purpose, a plan, and the people to help them live God’s best for their lives…

We think that’s a pretty great graduate gift!

10 Regrets Every Parent Can Avoid

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Parenting is really, really tough. It seems that as soon as you start figuring out a few things, your kids are grown. Because of this, some of the best lessons are found in what others have learned before us along the parenting journey. These lessons are usually conveyed as statements of regret. Having worked with parents of graduates for over 20 years, here are some of the biggest parenting regrets I have heard the most.

 

1) “I regret not investing more time and energy in things that matter most.”

I typically hear this most right after high school graduation or about a semester into college. Especially when their children begin to struggle, parents ask what can be done to get their children to be committed to Christ and an active part of a supportive church. The problem for many is that they have spent years up until this point making other things a priority in their kid’s lives, and never made time for spiritual development or a commitment to church. I hear so many parents express regret over investing countless weekends and resources in things (ie. travel sports) at the expense of commitment to church.

If we have taught them for years that leisure activities are more important than church, why would they be convinced differently when they get to college or have their own family?

Challenge: Identify what matters most for your family. Once you have identified those values that are most important, let those things drive how you prioritize your time and resources. Talk about family values with your kids and let them in on how priorities drive decisions in your home. Make spiritual development a big deal. Make Jesus the biggest deal. Value family over stuff. Keep the main things, the main things.

Remember, YOU dictate what’s important.

 

2) “I regret not getting the leash right.”

This one is all about freedom and discipline. If the end goal is to prepare students for responsible independence by the time they graduate, then we have to take a measured approach to freedom and discipline. We (parents) often get this backwards. The least amount of freedom should be given when they are young (think “short leash”), but as they mature, children should be given opportunities to earn more and more freedom. As they fail, we tighten the leash and use discipline and coaching to help them learn and grow. We then give them more freedom and the opportunity to prove their responsible independence.

When parents reach out to me in crisis and let me know that their kid has failed in some area, I often catch them off guard by saying “congratulations!” While I am truly sorry they are in crisis, I want to remind them of the incredible opportunity they have to help their kids fail well. These are learning opportunities that are (hopefully) rare.

Challenge: Give your kids opportunities to fail. I promise, it’s OK. As they do, coach them through it and help them grow. Measured independence and discipline should both be very intentional. Be wise in the dangers you expose your kids to, but realize the very best time in their lives to learn lessons is when they live in such close proximity to loving parents who can help them grow and learn to make wise choices.

Remember, the goal is not raising perfect kids…but prepared kids.

 

3) “I regret not spending more quality time together.”

Every parent will one day find themselves cleaning out a closet full of broken toys and outdated electronics. While these are all things that were given out of love because their child “needed” them, eventually both children and parents realize these were not the things they needed most from their parents. I have never had a college student tell me that they regret not having more “toys” in high school. But I have had countless tell me that they regret not spending more quality time with their family. While quantity of time is important, it is the quality of time that makes the biggest impact.

I once planned a “Family Game Night” at home as a cheap alternative to taking my kids to an expensive entertainment venue they had been asking about. When I tucked my son in bed that night, I was thinking he was probably disappointed in having to stay home and play games with mom and dad. To my surprise, he gave me the biggest hug and said, “Tonight was the best night EVER!”

Challenge: Don’t buy the lie that you serve your family best by working more hours to buy them more “stuff.” Of course parents love providing nice things for their children, but let’s not lose sight of their deepest needs. Let your calendar reflect an intentionality to capture quality time with your kids.

Remember, the greatest of presents is your presence.

 

4) “I regret not having meaningful conversation with my kids.”

I’m amazed at the number of parents who feel like they don’t even know the person they drop off at college. In a device-age, families are struggling more and more to actually connect with each other. Many are checking social media to find out what is happening with their kids. While being attune to their social media presence is certainly good, there can be a false sense of “knowing” each other based on snapshots and carefully composed taglines. Meaningful conversation takes time and cuts beyond what they do to who they are.

Challenge: Create time and space for communication in your home. There are two environments that tend to encourage meaningful conversation in the home.

#1 Dinner Table – Reclaim the dinner table as a sacred place for intentional conversation. This starts with banning devices (absurd, I know) and asking open ended questions. (“What is one good thing and one bad thing that happened today?”)
#2 Bedside – When children are babies, parents tend to spend a ton of time by their beds talking, telling stories, and praying together. Too many stop doing this as their children get older. Commit individual time with each child each night to pray, share stories, and talk about those things that matter most. Steer the conversation towards their greatest needs. (unconditional love, acceptance & value, and significance & purpose)

Remember, at their core, children want to be known. Do the hard work of making that happen.

 

5) “I regret not parenting my kids as individuals.”

Great teachers and coaches know that you can run a classroom or program with defined culture and set rules, but you must teach and coach students as individuals. This concept is especially true in parenting. One-size-fits-all may work for some things, but not parenting. Each child is wonderfully complex, and truly one of a kind. While there are certain needs that every child shares, each child has their own personality, temperament, learning style, giftedness, and unique needs. To lead them and grow them, you must understand and play to those differences.

Challenge: The more you know your child, the more you understand what it takes to motivate, challenge, encourage, discipline, and coach them. Don’t get lazy by failing to parent your children as individuals. Don’t get hung up on it being “unfair” to use different parenting strategies for each kid. If the goal of parenting is to best prepare your children, use those techniques and strategies that best capture their individual heart and play to their unique originality.

Remember, one size does not fit all in parenting.

 

6) “I regret trying to be a friend, when they needed a parent.”

It’s a shame that our kids do not realize just how cool we actually are. Because they (especially teens) struggle to see this, some parents go to great lengths to prove this to them. The temptation in this is to take on the role of their friend, and abandon the role of a parent. While your kids will have opportunity to have a lot of friends, they only have one opportunity to experience what you uniquely offer them as a parent.

Challenge: Parent them while you still have that opportunity. When your children are grown, you will have a chance to be their friend. Use this limited time in their lives to lead, love, correct, coach, and disciple…as a parent. Embrace your unique role in your child’s life. Don’t surrender the blessing of parenthood for a lesser role.

Remember, the most significant role you can have in your child’s life is PARENT.

 

7) “I regret conforming to what other parents are doing.”

Peer pressure is real in parenting, especially when coupled with the constant overture from your kids “but every other parent is doing it!” When faced with difficult decisions, it is certainly easy to look around and survey popular opinion. While a “go with the flow” approach to parenting may be easier in the moment, it certainly does not give you the best long term returns.

Challenge: You are accountable for what God has entrusted to you. When faced with difficult parenting decisions, do the work of praying through the decision, searching biblical wisdom, and seeking Godly wisdom from trusted sources. Ultimately, you must parent based on what is best for your child and what supports your parenting aim.

Remember, Godly counsel is infinitely more reliable than popular opinion.

 

8) “I regret being a manager and not a leader.”

Sometimes being a parent feels like you’re a scheduler, an Uber driver, an air traffic controller and a personal shopper all in one. There are days where the objective may just be to manage the chaos, get everyone where they need to be, not kill anybody, and let’s just move on to another week! Have you ever just wanted to fast forward through a day, week, season, or school grade? These feelings can be especially common when we (parents) allow ourselves to get in a managerial mindset.

Challenge: Don’t let the craziness of life rob you of the blessing and opportunities of parenting. This is all about perspective. We can either grip the steering wheel and grit our teeth as we drive to ONE MORE practice or event in rush hour traffic, or we can see that 30 minutes in the car as an opportunity to invest in our kids. We can turn the radio up and sing our guts out, roll down the windows (although not while singing, or our kids will hide), or talk to them about what their sport is teaching them. Those times of managing that crazy schedule can actually be some of the most valuable teaching moments and times of discipleship your family will ever have. We are parents, teachers, and spiritual leaders. Let’s redeem every opportunity to lead.

Remember, everything on your schedule provides an opportunity to lead.

 

9) “I regret not helping my child own their faith.”

I see so many students who go off to college and spiritually crash the first time Professor Wine & Cheese challenges their faith. When they are told that their faith is a crutch, their parents are wrong, and that Christianity is for those who are weak-minded, so many students don’t even know how to respond. The absolute best thing we can do for our children is to help them own their faith in Christ. This involves not only leading them to know truth, but helping them understand why it is true.

Challenge: Put in the work to help your children know what they believe, and why they believe it.  Help them discover, and allow them to question. Don’t freak out if they have doubts or ask tough questions. Now is the best possible time for them to explore their faith and “work out” what is true. So many parents don’t encourage this because they fear their kids may ask them questions they don’t know the answer to. One of the most powerful things you can say to your child is “I don’t know, but it is important enough to me that I will help you find the answer.” The most important legacy you can give your child is well tested truth. How are you helping them own their faith?

Remember, your children cannot live off of your faith.

 

10) “I regret not having a plan.”

We have a plan for a lot of things in our homes… a financial plan, a retirement plan, a meal plan, a plan for extra-curricular activities. All of these plans are important because we know that “If we fail to plan, we plan to fail.” But what about a parenting plan? Do we have an actual plan for how we are going to avoid the types of regrets mentioned above, or do we plan to make it up as we go?

Having a plan is so important, it is a HUGE part of what I do in ministry to students and families through our Grounded for Life spiritual growth plan. In fact, before students graduate from Student Ministries, we lead each student through a process of writing an ACTUAL PLAN of how they are going to experience God’s best for their lives beyond graduation by living out the truth of God’s Word. (For more info on Grounded for Life, click here.) Putting a plan on paper has proven to be so much more effective than simply graduating with good intentions.

Challenge: Don’t overcomplicate this, and don’t put this off. Write down those things that matter most to you as a parent. Use these statements of regret from other parents as a guide to create intentionality in each of these areas. Once you’ve identified those things that matter most, tweak your schedule, budget, and boundaries for your home to reflect what you really want for your family. Share these things with your kids and share them with friends and family who can offer you encouragement in these areas. As you invest time in this, be encouraged that you are doing work that will shape the lives and futures of your kids, and grandkids.

Remember, most parents do not plan to have regrets; they just don’t plan NOT to.

 

Grandparents

This is an important reminder for grandparents as well. One of the blessings of being a grandparent is you get a “do-over” of sorts with those regrets you may hold on to from parenting. You get to take all the lessons you learned as a parent and pass them on to your children as they navigate the same unknowns, fears, and trials of parenting their kids.

You get to have a unique and powerful voice in the lives of your grandchildren. Embrace your special role as a grandparent, and continue your ministry of building a legacy of faith that will impact generations to come.

 

If these thoughts were helpful at all, please feel free to share them as an encouragement to another parent.  If you want to be notified of future parenting articles and helps, you can subscribe by scrolling up, dropping your email, and hitting “subscribe.”  For more information on how I can partner with you and your family, check out www.sugarhillstudents.com. 

For more parenting resources from this series, check out sugarhill.church/becoming.

6 Vital Small Group Lesson Prep Questions

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What an incredible privilege and responsibility to teach the life-changing truths of Scripture. To offer the best we have as a teacher and avoid the temptation to simply regurgitate (read) curriculum, let’s consider these six important questions we need to answer when preparing to teach:

1) What is the BIBLICAL PRINCIPLE? (Keyword: Preparation)

Everything we teach should bring students back to the Bible. Our stories, opinions, and advice do not have the power to change a student’s life. The Word of God does. (2 Timothy 3:16) That is why we believe the Bible is a BIG DEAL and why we want to graduate students who have biblical principles engrained in their minds and hearts. As you prepare, identify and focus on the biblical principle.

2) What is the TAKEAWAY? (Keyword: Clarification)

It’s important to begin with the end in mind. Once you identify the biblical principle we are trying to communicate, clarify the exact main point we want students to grasp as a result of our time together. With every lesson I teach, I clarify the “140,” that is the point of my lesson in 140 characters or less. Remember, your “takeaway” is not just taught through the lesson, but through the entire small group experience.

3) Why is this IMPORTANT? (Keyword: Persuasion)

Identify the significance of your takeaway. This not only creates a sense of urgency in your approach to lesson prep, but also clarifies how you persuade students of its importance. The WHY always drives the passion and urgency of the WHAT.

4) How do I make this REAL to a child / student? (Keyword: Illustration)

The ability to effectively illustrate a biblical truth in a way that makes it “real” to a student is what moves teachers from being good to GREAT! Object lessons, stories, and illustrations that connect a biblical truth to their world are invaluable to helping students understand and remember truth.

5) What does this mean to ME? (Keyword: Application)

Once you communicate biblical truth in a way that students will understand, the goal is to help them apply this truth to their lives personally. Application of biblical truth is the primary end goal of our teaching. As a teacher, there is nothing more rewarding than seeing your investment pay off when a student applies truth in their life.

6) What NOW? (Keyword: Demonstration)

Let’s not make the mistake of helping students realize where they need to go, but not showing them how to get there. A great lesson ends with practical and specific actions steps that answer the question “What now?” Students should leave small group with a clear understanding of next steps.

Let’s never forget…we are not called to teach lessons, we are called to teach people. Let’s give our best as we prepare to teach God’s life-changing truth!

The 140:
We are not called to teach lessons; we are called to teach people.
Let’s give our best as we prepare to teach God’s life-changing truth!

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See what I did there?

Not Alone (Parenting is tough…)

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Parenting is tough… but you don’t have to do it alone.

There is a jar that sits in my office that is filled with ping-pong balls, 168 to be exact. That is the number of hours in a week. 165 of the balls are white and 3 are orange. The white balls represent the average number of hours our students spend away from church. These are the hours spent doing the things students do. The three orange balls represent the average number of hours our students spend a week in our Student Ministries programs. (Sure we offer more, but not all students take advantage of everything offered.)

This jar sits in my office to remind me and my team at Sugar Hill Church of several important realities. We have to…

Make It Count.

The first reminder is that we must make our limited time with students count. Our programming must be excellent. Every minute must count. We cannot afford to do anything halfway or without purpose. Every time students are with us, they must be encouraged, loved, and challenged. While ministry to students should be wildly fun and highly engaging, the end goal must be to help students discover and live God’s best for their lives. This is discovered in the Bible, experienced in relationship with Jesus, & expressed in serving. We must make a BIG DEAL of the things that are really a big deal.

Make It Personal.

Everything that matters begins and ends with relationship. Packing students in a room and “wowing” them with a program makes an impression. Getting involved with their lives and loving them with a relationship makes a difference. We must go where they are. We must understand their world. We must have the relational capital to know where students are and challenge them to something greater. Authentic relationships are the currency of accountability and a catalyst of consistent growth.

Authentic relationships are the currency of accountability…

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The reason small groups are such a big deal at Sugar Hill Church is that relationships matter.

Bring It Home.

Most importantly, the jar reminds me of the fact that I am not the primary spiritual influence in a student’s life. That role still belongs to parents. Like it or not, parents have the awesome responsibility of spiritually training and making disciples of their children. My most important role, then, is to partner with parents and support them in this process. I can offer parents relevant biblical teaching for their students each week. I can offer small group settings for their teenager to build authentic relationships with their peers under the mentorship of loving adults. I can offer numerous experiences monthly for their student to learn about and engage in worship, serving, and leadership.

Like it or not, parents have the awesome responsibility of spiritually training and making disciples of their children.

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Although our staff works tirelessly to ensure these things are offered with excellence, the impact of such opportunities falls short if the experiences and lessons learned are not directly tied back to the home. In order for these lessons to really “take root,” they must be reinforced and practiced at home.

For this to happen effectively, we (Student Ministries staff) must continue working intentionally to know families and be aware of their needs. Parents must work on continuously being aware of opportunities we offer students, as well as what happens at our programs and events (what is being taught, how students are being challenged, what commitment their students are making, etc.). As we partner and encourage one another, we can truly be teammates in fulfilling the most important responsibility we will ever have.

Here for you…

Such a partnership between a Student Ministry and families can be so effective in offering the best possible opportunities for students to grow in Christ and make a difference for Him. Please know that we are here for you and your family and want to be the best support we can be! You never have to feel alone.

Parenting is tough.  Thank God that He never intended for us to do it alone.

*Consider this a personal invitation to check out all Sugar Hill Church offers your family. I’d love to see you on Sunday at the 9:30 or 11:00 service.  A great way to see what he have going for students is at our Family Rally dinner this Sunday evening from 5-7pm. Please hit me up for details or click here for more info.

What drives you? (Identifying your personal leadership philosophy.)

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Do you have a personal leadership philosophy? You may not have it written down, but we all have certain core beliefs and attitudes that drive our behavior.

It is a good idea for any leader to identify these core beliefs and write them down as a personal leadership philosophy. A written leadership philosophy not only easily communicates to others your core values and beliefs, but it also serves as a personal reminder for how you want to lead and what difference you want your leadership to make. It defines the why, what, who, and how of your leadership.

My Leadership Philosophy

Let me share my personal leadership philosophy with you, and then explain an easy way to think about identifying and writing yours.

I believe that identity and purpose are found in Christ alone.
I believe I am called by God to represent Christ to the world, in service & love.
I believe that God can do the impossible IN me and THROUGH me.

I have a purpose to point other to Jesus.
I have a passion to see others discover and live God’s very best for their lives.
I have a plan to empower others to change the world.

I will love people, not position.
I will lead people, not programs.
I will serve people, not praise.

I will seek to honor God in all I do.

Where To Start

The internet is full of ideas concerning how to go about developing a personal leadership philosophy, and the dozens of formulas / guides to writing one reveal that there is no universal “right” way. While many strategies focus on waxing eloquent on what leadership is, I think it is more helpful to focus on what leadership does.

Far more important than being able to talk about leadership is being able to lead in a way that makes a difference!

The most important part of developing a leadership philosophy is determining the foundation from which you lead.  Consider what a philosophy is and what it does. A philosophy begins with a foundation that guides behavior.

Philosophy: a theory or attitude held by a person or organization that acts as a guiding principle for behavior.

We all get to choose what we base our leadership on. Our leadership can come from ever-changing leadership theory (a supposition or uncertain belief) or it can be rooted in unchanging truth that leads to a settled way of thinking (attitude). 

Writing a personal leadership philosophy forces a leader to identify what guiding principles lead them as a leader.

A Simple Approach

Instead of basing your leadership on uncertain beliefs or the latest leadership buzz words, consider this simple (but more sure) approach to a philosophy of leadership:

TRUTH >>> ATTITUDE >>> ACTION (BEHAVIOR)

Reflect on these three key elements and take some time to answer the developmental questions on each one…

TRUTH:
“the state of being the case: fact”

Jesus concluded the Sermon on the Mount by telling a story about two guys who went out and built houses. One built his house on a shifting foundation and the other built his house on a solid foundation. When inevitable storms hit, only the house built on a solid foundation stood. To build your life or leadership on anything other than God’s unchanging truth is to lead from a place of instability and uncertainty. Define what core biblical truths you want to shape your leadership and actions. Identify at lease 2-3 truths, and try to keep them as succinct as possible.

– What 2-4 foundational biblical truths do you want to shape your leadership and your actions?


ATTITUDE:
“a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person’s behavior.”

A leader who builds their life and leadership on unchanging truth can have a confident and settled mindset (attitude). They can have a certainty in purpose, passion, and vision. For the follower of Jesus, the goal should be to have the same attitude as that of Christ. (Philippians 2:5)  What do you want to communicate about your mindset, based on the core truths that drive your leadership?  This is a great place to say something about your purpose, passion, and vision.

– Based on the truths you identified, what is your settled way of thinking about your purpose?
– What passion do you want to drive your behavior?
– What influence do you want to have / what difference do you want to make?


ACTION (Behavior):
“the way in which one acts or conducts oneself, especially toward others.”

The impact of truth on one’s attitude is reflected in behavior. The end goal of leadership is action, both personally and through influencing others to action. Leadership that is not actionable is not influential.  Effective leaders have the same mindset as the apostle Peter when he encourages his readers to “prepare your minds for action…” (1 Peter 1:13). What will be the focus of your action? What can others expect of your behavior as it relates to the core truths from which you lead?

– Based on truth & attitude, how do you want to act towards others?

 

One Last Challenge…

Now that you have identified these important elements, I have one last challenge. Take everything you have written and condense it down into one brief summary statement. Yes, I know this can be tough. But if someone asked you to describe your leadership philosophy or approach in one sentence, what would it be? (Again, try to keep it at 25 words or less.)

SUMMARY STATEMENT:

– If you had to reduce your entire personal leadership philosophy to one statement, what would it be?

 

Here is how my personal leadership philosophy breaks down based on the elements defined above:

TRUTH
I believe that identity and purpose are found in Christ alone.
I believe I am called by God to represent Christ to the world, in service & love.
I believe that God can do the impossible IN me and THROUGH me.

ATTITUDE
I have a purpose to point other to Jesus.
I have a passion to see others discover and live God’s very best for their lives.
I have a plan to empower others to change the world.

ACTION (Behavior)
I will love people, not position.
I will lead people, not programs.
I will serve people, not praise.

SUMMARY
I will seek to honor God in all I do.

 

Please don’t see my leadership philosophy as the “right” way to write one.  (Remember, there is not one right way and mine is unlike every “right” way I’ve seen described.)  But this statement serves as a great reminder to me of what I really value and from what foundational truth I want to lead. 

I’m confident that taking the time to identify and write your personal leadership philosophy will prove to be helpful in communicating to others and reminding yourself of why and how you lead.

Helpful Tips:

  • Don’t be overwhelmed by the goal of reducing a lot of things you value into a concise document. Start the process. It’s OK if the document evolves over time as you live with it and continue to hone it. Just start somewhere. The process of developing a written philosophy may be more important than the finished product.
  • Once you have a written leadership philosophy, put it somewhere you can see it daily. Mine is on my bathroom mirror. Begin each day by considering why, what, and how you will lead today.

 

If these thoughts on writing a personal leadership philosophy are helpful, please feel free to share.  Also, to have future blogs send directly to your email, feel free to subscribe by clicking HERE and entering your email address on the right.  (Don’t worry, if my blogs become lame, you can unsubscribe at any time.  I promise I will not be offended, and we can still be friends.) 

Your 5 Best Ministries

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I see people all the time searching feverishly to find their perfect place of service. Some people refer to this as their “best ministry.” Maybe the Worship Team audition didn’t go as planned (you’re not sure why – you sound GREAT in the shower) and your one night on Tech Team ended with the fire alarm going off. Perhaps you are discouraged and thinking you may never find your “best ministry.”

It is certainly great to understand your giftedness, abilities, and passions, and use them to serve the local church. Unfortunately, in this search, people sometimes miss their best ministries right in front of them.

Check out these five things that could actually be your best ministries…and be sure not to miss the last point!

– Friendship

What?! Friendship is a ministry? Yep.

Think about it:
Has there ever been a time you felt alone and someone unexpectedly befriended you?
How did that make you feel? What did that do for you?

The Bible describes the beauty and value of friendships…

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” – Proverbs 27:17

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” – Ecclesiastes 10:9-10

We were created to live in community, so healthy friendships is something we all crave…even the people that pretend to want everyone to leave them alone. Because of this, simply befriending someone could be a life-changing experience for them!

While it is great to have a few close friends that can be your source of strength, encouragement, and accountability, let’s not miss the opportunity to have meaningful relationships with a lot of friends. Don’t miss the opportunity to change someone’s life by reaching out to them.

Consider the implications of reaching out to someone, according to Matthew 25:37-40,

“Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’”

So as we reach out to others, God is honored.

Can we agree that befriending someone is something easy and meaningful we can do?

– Prayer

Prayer is not only the single greatest untapped power that is available to every Christ-follower, but it is also an incredible ministry. Have you ever had someone tell you they were praying for you, and you believed them? How did that make you feel? I bet you felt incredibly loved and valued that someone took the time to petition the Creator of the Universe on your behalf.

And you know what else? Prayer makes a difference.

“And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him.” – 1 John 5:14

Consider the reality of that. God. Hears. Us. God wants us to pray to him and he hears us. Scripture urges us to use this privilege to pray for others.

“I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them.” – 1 Timothy 2:1

“The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. Elijah was as human as we are, and yet when he prayed earnestly that no rain would fall, none fell for three and a half years! Then, when he prayed again, the sky sent down rain and the earth began to yield its crops.” – James 5:16-18

So prayer is powerful. Praying is something you can do. And praying for others really does make a difference.

What types of prayers should we pray for others? Would you say praying for others is something meaningful you can do?

– Invitation

We all love to be invited to things. Invitations communicate that you are wanted, valued, and appreciated. Did you know that a simple invitation can be life-changing? Consider this:

Nearly 90% of new church attenders come to church because of a personal invitation from a friend.

I could tell you story after story of students whose lives have been change as the result of a simple invitation. How easy is it to invite someone to church, a movie, or a small group!? Your invitation could make all the difference in the world to them.

Just recently I baptized an incredible high school student who told me her life was changed by an invitation to a Wednesday night Gathering at Sugar Hill Church. She had never been to church in her life and she came that night and felt such love and acceptance, that she came back the next week. She has been coming every week since for the past year. (More of her story later…)

An invitation to church is pretty easy. There are other life-changing invitations we can make that include an invitation to explore faith more, to trust Christ, or to be bold in living one’s faith.

What are some life-changing invitations you can make this week? Would you say that giving a personal invitation to someone is something you can do?

– Conversation

How many conversations do you have a day? What percentage of those would you consider to be “meaningful” (about more than just sports, weather, gossip, etc.)? Consider how many “good friends” you have that you never have meaningful conversations with. (Why is that?)

In a world where “communication” is largely texts and tweets, people hunger to be heard and to have meaningful conversation. In a society of soundbite communication, people long to be understood.

Here is the problem with that… we were created to live in community where we can know others and where we can be known. This is why a simple meaningful conversation with someone could be life-changing for them.

What could make a conversation meaningful?

– Simply asking questions following an event or small group.
– Continuing a serious conversation.
– Bringing up spiritual matters.
– Asking someone their thoughts on things that matter most in life.

Remember the student that was invited by a friend to church and felt so accepted that she came back? Over the following weeks her friends would have conversations with her about what she was hearing and learning at church. These friends (for the first time) were having meaningful conversations about faith, God, and life. Several months after she first came, this girl trusted Jesus, was baptized, and is growing so much in her faith! A year later, she is leading worship and is making an incredible difference for Christ.

It began with an invitation followed by conversation.

How can you have a conversation this week that could be life-changing for a friend?  Would you say that having meaningful conversations is actually possible?

– Disciple-Making

I know what you may be thinking, “Wait a second…making-disciples? All of the other things were pretty easy, but I can’t make disciples.” Well before you stop reading, check out this NEWSFLASH:

If you are doing the above things with intentionality, you already ARE doing disciple-making things.

It’s true.

Perhaps this is hard for you to believe because you have these ideas that “disciple-making” is reserved for the spiritually elite. For so long, I used to think that making disciples sounded like really hard work and required the following:

– Seminary degree.
– Thick, like really thick Bible.
– A fancy journal (not from Walmart, but from Lifeway or something).
– Commentary set (from a dead guy with weird last name).
– Deluxe hi lighter set.

Well, contrary to perfectly staged social media posts, discipleship is not limited to an artsy landscape that includes coffee, books, thick Bibles, highlighters and a fake leather-bound journal.

Now it may include those things, and certainly some of those elements are very important (Bible = very important, hi lighters = just fun.), but that is not the SOLE picture of discipleship.

Jesus repeatedly gave us great examples of discipleship in how he related to others. Throughout his ministry, we see Jesus:

– Reach out to others (befriend)
– Meet their physical needs
– Engage in meaningful conversation focused on truth
– Invite them to walk with him.
– Model for them a life that honors God.

I’ve got news for you… if you can intentionally build relationships, pray, invite, engage in meaningful conversations, and walk with others, you can make disciples!!!

Let’s get over our fear of making disciples and be about the greatest mission that Jesus gave each of us in Matthew 28:18-20,

“‘I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.’” – Jesus

And as you are about the work of doing these things, don’t miss the incredible promise Jesus gave us,

“And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

That’s great news!  Consider this:

Perhaps your “best ministries” happen moment by moment as you simply live in the reality that Jesus has not only called called you, but also empowered you to change the world as you abide in him.

Maybe disciple-making is not something to be feared, but something that happens organically as you intentionally live in this reality.

Perhaps you have been dabbling in your best ministries without even realizing it.

And perhaps these best ministries, empowered by Jesus, might just change the world!

Have fun today living that out.

 

*I really appreciate all those who take the time to read this blog.  If you like it, please share.  You can get content delivered directly to your inbox by clicking HERE and entering your email address in the subscription box.  (You can totally opt out at any time if my blog becomes lame.)  Thanks!

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Group discussion starters:

– Friendship

How many friends do you have?
Has there ever been a time you felt alone?
Have you ever had someone unexpectedly befriend you? How did this make you feel?

– Prayer

How often do you pray?
What do you mostly pray about?
How have you felt when someone told you that they were praying for you?

What types of prayers should we pray for others?

– Invitation

How many of you like being invited to things?
What’s the greatest thing you’ve ever been invited to be a part of?
How did you feel when you were invited?

What are some life-changing invitations you can make this week? (Church, camp, etc)
What are some creative ways you can invite others to these opportunities?

– Conversation

How many conversations do you have a day?
What percentage of you conversations a day would you consider to be “meaningful” (about more than just sports, weather, gossip, etc.)?

How can you have a conversation this week that could be life-changing for a friend?

– Discipleship

What do you think that “making disciples” looks like?
How hard do you think this may be?

What is the great news (and promise) from Jesus regarding making disciples?